I haven’t written in a long while. Too long, perhaps.
Often I thought to write down everything that has happened, but after my father’s death I found it increasingly difficult to carry on the Duskryder tradition of documenting… -Several lines have been scratched out-. It is simply difficult to find words.
The Magister Soryen Arendyr is dead, and the Vanguard has been free for sometime now. I had devised a plan to clear our names, with the intent of taking the blame for the Magister’s crimes. As fate would have it, a priestess- I still cannot recall her name, if I had even heard it, spared me from the firing squad. Instead, I was placed under house arrest. This lasted until just recently, as Melathanore and Xynrael have cleared the matter so that I am free to perform my duties.
As things often go, our peace has not lasted long. We are now in quarrel with Ravenholt. I will write full account of this at a later date.
I should begin with Xynrael.
For sometime now, we have been separated. I have not felt pain or regret over the decision, despite my ill ease in his company now. I am sure he believes I am angry or hateful toward him, but this is not the case. Instead, I find myself feeling an unavoidable guilt when I look at him, despite my knowing that he is fully aware of my reasons for ending it. I never truly felt love for him, instead, I had settled for what I thought would be a suitable substitute and discovered myself wrong for it. Perhaps it is why I know this that…
-Several paragraphs worth of space appears empty.-
While I was occupied dealing with Arendyr, Olithea revealed herself to the Vanguard. While at first, I could not find words to express my displeasure at this, I’ve since found that she has thrived in their company. Shortly after she had begun her training with Mel, she was revealed to be none other than Dawntreader’s sister, Coria. While it confirms theories of her past that I had certainly wished to be wrong about, she seems happier now. Troublesome, but happy.
It would seem that family has become a prominent theme as of late. Ellithira and Jaen are expecting triplets. I’m proud of them.
Beyond such, I find my pride and appreciation growing to other members of the Vanguard. Everyday they feel more like kin to me. Perhaps it is to make up for my lack of contact with Daeryan since…
I may write again soon, but I can hear Mel conducting his nightly alcohol search…It’s odd, hearing him about the estate every night, but I have found myself more accustomed to the noise than I ever had been when Xynrael would tiptoe around. It’s almost comforting, actually. Light damn me should he ever know that, of course.
